A Year Ago Today...

I was brave.

Oh boy. I remember EVERY detail about that day. A January night in California... A Saturday at that. What a beauty. I was dressed and ready for the biggest moment of my life. A responsibility beyond what I could have ever imagined fell into my hands. By choice. A smart choice. I went to confront the most important man in my life with a prayer in my heart and boom. It all happened. Truth was abound and my conscience was at peace. I spent the remainder of the evening with my two favorite people. My angels.

A year later, life is back to normal, if you will. Maybe if that day hadn't occurred... I would be living somewhere else. But oh am I grateful this day occurred. I'm better, stronger and most definitely happier.

Practicing Patience

One of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen came out on DVD today. Due to the request of my favorite human being on the planet, I must refrain from purchasing this sweet piece of movie magic. Bright Star. You're worth the wait.

Ben Whishaw... So are you.

The Look In Those Eyes

The feeling of something coming to an end is a peculiar feeling indeed. It is almost bittersweet in the sense that it feels good to accomplish or finish it but there is that emptiness when all is said and done. I feel that way when I finish a project or finish writing a paper. I feel that way after a semester ends and I surely feel that way when summer ends. I feel that way after finishing a good book or when a great day ends. I feel that way today. This particular "ending" left me thinking, in spite of everything, it was a great ride.

As for a beginning...

After a year and a half of trying to be friends with Jillian... She has finally come around! I love my little Jilly Bean! We're best friends.

As Sweet As A Song

Every once and awhile I find myself thinking about how incredibly fortunate I am. Today was one of those days. I love it all! The good, bad and the ugly. It's a beautiful life.

Keep Them Standing In Line

2009 has come and gone. I could go on forever about the highs and lows and all the in between. Covering the main points would include my pathetic winter, my best two semesters at school, my amazing summer, and so on and so forth. It was a successful year over all but then again what year isn't? I say that if you make it through then it must have been a success. There will always be mishaps and there will always be prosperity. I could surely look back on this year and say it was awful because several setbacks but the good always outweighs the bad. Every single one of my needs has been met. I spend the majority of my time with people whom I adore. Colors that were missing have found their way into my portrait. I have experienced so much joy and comfort, just as I do every single year.

The idea of New Year's resolutions just aggravate me. I feel that if you are going to change something then why is it necessary to wait until the turn of the year to do so. I suspect this is because our human minds can only wrap themselves around linear time and therefore, just as the beginning of everyday, the New Year brings a refreshing start to what is just simply time, which will of course just come and go. Even though I am irked by the idea of New Year's resolutions, I never fail to make them. If I have a job to do you better believe it will be completed and it will be done well. So if there is something of importance that needs to be changed in my life then I do my best. But when it comes to New Year's resolutions mine are all-embracing. For example, 2008: Be more respectful. 2009: Be nicer. So what will it be for the great year of 2010??? Think more before doing and saying. Broad.

The root of my aversion to resolutions is irrefutably connected with my dislike for change. My struggle with change is ongoing and is never easy for me. Maybe, I am too stubborn to want to change my ways. Oh the narcissist that I am...

To be continued...

The Tie That Binds

Family. Friends. Relationships.

What's the common ground?

The Chances Waiting To Be Taken

It is Christmas Eve and I am laying on the bed in my old room at my parents house. The wall are bare; the posters and pictures are gone. If these walls could talk... oh the things they would say. Time is everywhere. Only having been home for a week has reminded me of the seeds I have planted here. Southern California is my place. Los Angeles is my city. Claremont is my town. I'll keep this place in close reach.

Merry Christmas.

Seeing Things Vividly

Where were you during the Rexburg Blackout of 2009?

When the lights go out... It's fair game.

I can barely recall the details of this past week but it was perfect.

Change and I need to work on our relationship... It's a struggle.

Steel Eyes

Styx is the greatest rock band in the world. Listen.

Tommy Shaw. Let's work something out between us.

You're Such A Wonder

Once again, another semester has come and gone. Time has not given me any consideration and I feel that this is all ending prematurely. This has been one for the books; one I could never forget.

Here is a taste:

1. Emily Hale: You have changed me forever. Whoever said it wouldn't work (or isn't working) can not possibly know us well enough. You are the puzzle piece I have been missing. You are the constant in my memories. Having you as my partner in crime has been the greatest blessing. I can't talk about it.
2. Opposition: Try me.
3. Horkleys: Thanks providing the caffeine, peanut butter and Thirsty Thursdays.
4. Ticket to Ride: Best Game Ever! Thank you Emily!
5. My Professors: My mentors and my greatest advocates; my heroes. I have nothing but the utmost respect for the men and women who are building me up to be something better than I am.
6. The Backstreet Boys, Styx, and Michael Jackson: Sing to me.
7. Lupicia: Get well soon.
8. Library: I'm embarrassed by the amount of hours we have spent together. I wouldn't study anywhere else.
9. Rexburg: The setting for all the shenanigans. That's fine!
10. Cafe Rio: Every semester there is a different food addiction. You took this one.
11. My Cheerleaders: The support has been paramount.
12. The Boys: Get over it! You like it when I verbally abuse you.
13. The Girls: Thanks for leaving the BS at home. It was a good one.
14. Forbidden Love: Worth It.

I am convinced that it was some divine intervention which shadowed me through this semester. I have met people who have changed my life. I have learned things that will forever stay in my memory.

BOOM.

Time's a Loaded Gun

My mind has been wandering at a thousand miles per a minute after a conversation I recently had. I shared a piece of information with someone which has only been heard by the ears of one. It had been buried in my mind for years, and now it is completely before me.

Is it harder to keep a secret or to tell it? Depends on the secret I guess.

Everybody has a secret. Right? I once heard if you're hiding something, then you are most likely doing something wrong. Maybe some secrets are meant to be told. I don't plan on ever parting with this secret again. Regardless of this intention, now a part of this world knows...

"Secrets are the things we give to others to keep for us." -E. Hubbard

Just A Great Figure Eight

Every year I make a Christmas Wish List. I usually never show it to anybody. It is usually out of control and I am usually way in over my head... This year is no different.

1. Canon Rebel XS 10.1 Megapixel Camera ($480)
2. A Car - Used ($5000)
3. John Mayer Concert Ticket ($90)
4. GRE Prep Books and Classes ($500)
5. LSAT Prep Books and Classes ($500)
6. Pantages Theatre Season Tickets ($300)
7. Bare Minerals ($60)
8. Kindle ($260)

I believe in Santa. Let's see what happens.

You're Outta Sight, Keep Me Up At Night

Oh I have fallen into the trap of an abusive relationship. My roommate Emily and I have done some extensive research and have come to the conclusion that we are certainly in an abusive relationship. We came upon a website and read the “Signs of an Abusive Relationship.” Here is a list of the signs that corresponds with our situation:

1. Partner is possessive of you. (“I don’t like it when other people talk to you.” –Emily Hale)

2. Isolation from outside friendships. (“Why is it that I only like to hang out with you?” –Eva Padilla)

3. Has a history of bad relationships. (Um… HELLO!)

4. Partner witnessed an abusive parental relationship. (“We’ve got Daddy issues.” –Emily Hale)

5. Your partner “RAGES” (Q: How does Eva handle conflict? A: Her blood boils, she rages, and then is ready to talk about it.)

6. Trouble leaving the relationship. (FRIENDS FOREVER!)

7. Partner constantly keeps track of your time. (What are you doing? Where have you been? What are you doing?)

8. Discourages you from attending work or school. (“Don’t go to class. Let’s go to Café Rio!” –Emily Hale)

9. Displaying weapons and threatening their use. (Do both of us own a knife… yes!)

10. Making your partner afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures. (I have a stink eye and do weird things in my sleep; this scares Emily.)

11.Making physical threats. (Daily.)

12. Calling your partner names like stupid. (“You’re so pretty!” –Eva “You’re STOOPID” – Emily)(“You’re so pretty!”- Emily “Shut up you’re being STOOPID.” –Eva)

13. Playing mind games. (Magical thinking. WHAT!)

14. Interrogating your partner. (Refer to #7)

15.“Checking up” on your partner’s activities and whereabouts. (“When are you going to be home?”-Emily Hale)(“Where the Hale are you?” –Eva)

16. Demanding your partner remains home when you are not with them. (Story of our lives.)

17. Acting like “master of the castle.” (“I always get what I want, or I just change my mind.” –Eva)

Oh sweet mercy! This could be a problem, but we don’t think it is. That’s fine.

Backstreet's Back

I don't care how old I get or where life takes me; I will ALWAYS and forever love the Backstreet Boys. One night this week Emily and I were talking about different concerts that we have been to, and we ended up talking about the Backstreet Boys. I didn't think I could love Emily Hale anymore than I already did... But that all changed! We spent the next few hours singing at the top of our lungs... We will always be Backstreet Kids. N'Sync had NOTHING on my Boys! Let's just be honest. It's all about BSB.

Sadly, my Backstreet Boy CD collection is nowhere to be found. Thank heavens for Amazon and their used CD's I paid $10 for 3 CD'S! BOOOOOM!

I am so sad for kids today. They listen have to listen to Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers... What a shame. My kids will not only inherit beautiful brown features but they will also be lucky enough to inherit my impeccable music collection. They will have a chance to have some real taste.

I Could Be Wholesome

I was on the phone one day with my best pal Bailey, and in response to something she said, I responded saying, " I don't think that's inappropriate." My roommate Britney who was in the kitchen said, "Eva, you don't think ANYTHING is inappropriate."

I must say that Britney and I have EXTREMELY different backgrounds and our stories couldn't be more different. However, we have one very important thing in common, which is the gospel. So I of course took great offense to her comment and said, "Whatever Britney! I think genocide is inappropriate."

I really (not) stretched myself there with that comment, and probably proceeded to offend Britney again and again by the usual words that come out of my mouth. I think it could be argued that I don't filter my thoughts enough or that I don't think before I speak, but in my own defense I maintain that I just call it like it is. And if you can hang, then you can hang. And if you can't, then you can't.

This morning my roommate Emily and I were talking about how it "seems" that every topic we discuss is always something to be joked about. We seem to just make light of everything and turn it into a joke. But we quickly rebuked ourselves and made a list of things that we absolutely do not joke about...

THE LIST:

1. The Doctrines of the Gospel

2. The Temple

3. Abortion

4. The Death or Unfortunate circumstances of our loved ones

5. Mac Users

Keeping it classy.

First Train Home

I got a phone call this week from my best little buddy, Jack Aaron Baker the Hunter. He informed me that he was about to carve pumpkins and that he had an "AWESOME" new Halloween shirt. I miss my partner in crime.

I have been sick all week. I think it would be safe for me to say that it's food poisoning but who knows?! I do anything within my power to avoid going to the doctor and this occasion has not been any different. Maybe in a week or so I'll go. On the rare occasion that I get sick at school, I find myself missing home more than usual. Maybe it's that comfort of knowing that someone will take care of me.... For now I will just attempt to eat saltines and look at pictures of home.

Let the countdown begin: 28 days!

The Good Fight

I'm not ready for this season to end. Let's do this!

You Still Don't Believe

Last night I went and saw the movie, "The Invention of Lying." The setting was in a world where no one can tell a lie. They live in a world much like ours except everyone tells the truth and says what is on their minds about everything. The movie was mediocre at best. I don't recommend it and I will definitely not be the first one in line to buy it, but some credit is in order for a couple of humorous parts.

What if we lived in a world without lies? What if we lived in a world where you could tell anyone what you thought of them because that was the norm? Is honesty the best policy? Is lying always inappropriate?

This could be an ethical debate that could go on forever, but wouldn't it be neat to always speak your mind. I have this book called the "Book of Questions." One of the questions goes along these lines: If all of your closest friends could honestly tell you everything they thought about you, would you want to hear it?

I would say sure. It probably wouldn't be the most enjoyable experience but why not just put it all out on the table. I had another friend answer this question and she said yes to some friends and no to others. She can't handle the truth.....

Can you?

A Change of Scenery

I was in the library today trying to figure out what it is that always brings me here. Is it my homework? Is it the comfort of the low grade office chairs? Is it the eye candy that so abundantly comes in and out? Am I really more focused here than I am elsewhere? I decided that maybe it was time to find a new place to study.

On my way to my Spanish class I stopped in the bathroom of the Smith building and there was a girl diligently studying on the floor of the Women's Restroom. My first thought was disgust by her choice to be studying in the bathroom but then I thought, "Hey if it works, it works." Maybe the sounds of bodily functions and toilets flushing are not my thing. However, low grade office chairs, eye candy and numberless side bar conversations are my thing. It works, so for now, I will stay put.

On a different note, every attempt of blogging in my time has been pathetic. I am on the bandwagon yet again. Take three.